Shrub Monkey - Cunt of the Day

Carl Whant is today's Cunt of the Day.

When it comes to being a depraved piece of shit, Whant pushes the boat right out. In Newport, Wales, Whant  has been sentenced to life a minimum of 35 years in jail for the rape and murder of his cousin's heavily pregnant partner Nikitta Grender. After raping Ms Grender, Whant slashed her throat, stabbed her in the abdomen and set fire to her home.

As if that is not enough, at trial Whant explained that he had consensual sex with Grender at the suggestion of his cousin. The judge described him as "a "calculating, vain and devious" individual", capable of "quite extraordinary hypocrisy" which he demonstrated by taking flowers to the Grender household after the murder. The Guardian reports that Whant "appeared to yawn" as unanimous guilty verdicts were read out for the charges of murder, rape, child destruction and arson.

Justice has been done and Grender's family can perhaps now try and get over this truly horrendous event. While we should be glad that 35 years is about the longest jail sentence anyone can get in the UK, you can't help hoping that Whant's fellow inmates and prison guards go the extra mile to make his life a living hell - every fucking day.

Sponsored by people who think an industrial dispute in Cork, Ireland is worthy of mentioning today. 32 former workers at Vita Cortex are now in their tenth week of a sit in over redundancy payments the company does not want to cough up. If company director Sean McHenry thought the dispute might soon be over, it only appears to be gathering steam as the world at large is now taking an interest in the story. 

Five wheelclampers: Andrew Minshull, Debbie Worton, Simon Barry, Christopher Cartwright and Faisal Qadeer are today's Cunts of the Day.

One for the little guy today as five members of a wheelclamping operation have been jailed in Worcester, UK. Sentencing them to 12-32 months for conspiracy to defraud, the judge "condemned them for "milking" the public out of up to £500,000" and said they "had frequently targeted and exploited vulnerable members of society".

The prosecutor described how they "used underhand tactics and intimidated drivers into parting with up to £335 to unclamp vehicles and "cancel" tow-trucks that had not been called out. Money was even demanded before clamps had been applied..."

Life is hard enough without greedy, corrupt cunts like this using motorists as a "license to print money". Their greed apparently knew no bounds as the court learned their targets included a disabled woman, a man visiting a mental health centre and someone delivering blood samples for the NHS.

It is most excellent news that West Mercia police and Worcestershire's trading standards department figured out what these cunts were up to and worked together to bring them to court and land them in jail where they belong.

Sponsored by people who had a wry smile on their face as they read "Former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been detained for questioning by French police investigating a prostitution ring."

Governments that mistreat their war veterans are today's Cunts of the Day.

Something a little different today arising from an article in Canada's Globe and Mail informing us the Canadian "federal government has been harshly criticized for failing to properly explain why some soldiers have been denied disability coverage". The same article also tells us: "Benefits for disabled veterans have been an ongoing controversy in Canada, leading to a class-action suit against Ottawa that was heard in Federal Court in Halifax last November, with a decision still pending." The comments at the end of the article are worth a look.

Surely governments have a duty to make sure their soldiers are properly equipped (something the UK government has repeatedly been accused of failing to do) and well looked after when they return from service, more so if they are injured. This recent article in the Huffington Post interestingly tells us how British soldiers have been mistreated over the centuries; although things may now be better than they have been in the past, they are still far from acceptable.

The Economist recently reported on how US veterans are faring: "Around 800,000 veterans are jobless, 1.4m live below the poverty line, and one in every three homeless adult men in America is a veteran." What the article fails to mention is the reported statistic that 18 veterans commit suicide every day in the US, making up 20% of all US suicides. Surely some of these would be avoided with better care and support for these people.

Wherever you stand on western governments' foreign wars, if they are going to send men and women to do their dirty work overseas then the very fucking least they can do is equip them properly and care for them when they come home.

Sponsored by people who, on the subject of Canada, were interested to learn the country is threatening a trade war with the EU over its ever-so-clean oil producing tar sands. Happy days.

Bashar al-Assad is this week's Cunt of the Week.

Here we are again, banging our heads back up against the evil motherfucker who is the Syrian president. It is difficult not to become desensitized to the news from Syria: another day, another massacre about which our elected politicians appear helpless to do anything. The BBC does, however, report today that Syria's economy is being crippled by sanctions, few of which likely directly affect Assad. Today we also learn that Egypt is the latest country to withdraw its ambassador from Damascus. The killing, however, goes on.

This week saw the passing of an Arab-backed resolution condemning human rights violations in Syria and calling for an end to the violence. Assad evidently took this very seriously because there was an increase in the shelling of the city of Homs immediately after the resolution.

We should point out, for the record, those countries who voted against the resolution. They are Belarus, Bolivia, China, Cuba, Ecuador, Iran, Nicaragua, North Korea, Russia, Syria, Venezuela, Zimbabwe. It's like a rollcall of cunts.

Yesterday, while attention was distracted with a very different funeral, Syrian troops "fired on mourners during a funeral that turned into a demonstration in Damascus, killing at least one person". It's hard to imagine how cuntish these security forces are: they shoot a bunch of people and then track the wounded down in hospital if they dare go there or they attack those who attend the funerals of the dead.

Of course there are many cunts in Syria who have been murdering and torturing innocent people since the uprising began. All of them, however, are under orders from Bashar al-Assad - a man who is, according to the people of the city of Homs, attempting to commit genocide in his own country.

Derek Chisora and David Haye are today's Cunts of the Day.

Here we go again with another sporting Cunt of the Day, boxing style. British boxer Chisora made a right cunt of himself earlier this week when he slapped his opponent Vitali Klitschko at their pre-fight weigh-in. After losing to Klitschko last night in Munich, the post-fight press conference turned into a brawl when another British boxer, David Haye, interrupted the proceedings which led to a confrontation with Chisora. A fight ensued and Chisora, apparently, threatened to shoot Haye. Chisora was arrested at the airport this morning and then released by German police who are, apparently, still looking for Haye.

What a totally pathetic and shameful pair of cunts they make. 

Deciding who is the greater cunt out of Haye and Chisora is perhaps left to those who know more about sports. For now, however, they are today's joint Cunt of the Day.

Sponsored by people who were interested in the UK Telegraph's Adam Lusher's supremely pathetic attack on Richard Dawkins. After researching Dawkin's ancestry, Lusher suggests Dawkins is somehow responsible for any wrongdoings in his family's distant past. What, did the Telegraph somehow come to the conclusion it didn't already have enough religious fuckwittery coming out of the asshole of Christine Odone? 

New Jersey governor Chris Christie is today's Cunt of the Day.

You may remember Christie for a controversy last May caused by him using a state police helicopter to attend his son's high school baseball game. Christie quickly decided to reimburse the state for the journeys, no doubt to get the media off his back. When it comes to gays, however, Christie is right in the media spotlight letting people know exactly where he stands.

Gay rights seem to be everywhere these days. French president Nicolas Sarkozy has recently spoken out against marriage, but Christie has gone him one further. We learn from the BBC that governor Christie "has vetoed a bill allowing same-sex marriage just a day after it was passed by the state Assembly". It's not as if he had much choice, right? He is, after all,  a rising star in the Republican party and potential running mate for Mitt Romney so he obviously cannot be in favor of giving gay people the same rights as everybody else. That simply will not do in the American of 2012.

He could have made New Jersey the eighth US state to recognize same sex marriage, but instead Christie waffled on about the need for a referendum for "an issue of this magnitude and importance, which requires a constitutional amendment". Why not simply admit to what many people are thinking about you Christie, that you are a homophobic right wing fuck?

Sponsored by people who wholly support the right of women in South Africa to wear what the fuck they want without the fear of being attacked by men. Hundreds of people are marching in Johannesburg today to protest against two women who were assaulted for daring to wear mini-skirts.

Jack Warner is today's Cunt of the Day.

Stiff competition today, especially with wrinkly evil scrote Rupert Murdoch announcing the launch of the Sunday Sun. Wasn't he supposed to be in the UK to deal with the arrest of Sun journalists, not announcing a new arsewipe rag of a newspaper?

However, when it comes to being a cunt, Jack Warner could go a few rounds with Murdoch. Warner, in case you don't know, was the vice preisdent of FIFA until his suspension and resignation last year. He is, to huge numbers of people, one of the most corrupt people in football. Some of his alleged controversies are as follows:

• As of September 2010, the Trinidadian World Cup squad have still not been paid a promised bonus after they rejected an initial offer from Warner of £500. Warner called them greedy and said the Trinidad & Tobago Football Federation only broke even from the World Cup although "it was later revealed that revenue had been around £17m".
• He was fined by FIFA for making an estimated "£500,000 from selling 2006 World Cup tickets on the black market".
• "Former chairman of the Scottish FA, John McBeth, said top Fifa executive Jack Warner asked him to make the match fee cheque payable to him personally" to which Warner responded by accusing McBeth of bigotry and racism.
• Lord Triesman, former Football Association and England 2018 chairman, accused Warner of asking for a bung of £2.5m "to build an education centre in Trinidad with the cash to be channelled through him" in return for his vote.

The Guardian now reports a new revelation in the shape of earthquake relief funds destined for Haiti that were paid into a bank account controlled by Warner. The money apparently never made it to Haiti. Some £440,000 has gone missing and FIFA has "frozen funding to the TTFF until it explains what has happened".

We should make it plain that these are allegations and we are sure that Warner has a perfectly good explanation of where the money has got to.

UK journalist Andrew Jennings has a special interest in corruption in sports and has a particular hard on for Warner. Check out Jennings' site Transparency in Sport here. Also, enjoy Warner saying "ask your mother" in response to Jennings' reasonable question about how much money he made selling World Cup tickets.

Warner, while these latest allegations about you have not been verified, very few people would find them hard to believe given your reputation. These same people think you believe yourself to be above everyone else, they believe that anything you are involved in only happens when your palm has been well greased - even if that comes to money given to help disaster victims.

If it actually turns out that you siphoned off aid money meant for Haiti then those who think you are a corrupt, disgusting human being will have to revise their opinion of you even lower.

Sponsored by people who think that Ireneusz Bartnowski needs to pointed out as a massive cunt. Jailed for a minimum of 34 years for the brutal and savage murder of an elderly couple in Wolverhampton, UK, the judge said of him: "You, on the other hand, have shown no remorse, no pity, concerned only with saving yourself and heaping the blame on others. You lack all humanity. You are evil beyond belief".

Finally, ask yourself if 17 months is a long enough sentence for bus driver Gavin Hill, the man at the wheel in this clip:

Beau Isagba is today's Cunt of the Day.

Thanks to the lifting of an order banning his identification, we now know the name of the young man responsible for a brutal mugging during last year's riots in London. Isagba punched Malaysian student Ashraf Rossli in the face, breaking his jaw in two places, and stole his bicycle. He was today found guilty in a London court.

Isagba's pathetic defense was that he was "drunk at the time of the incident and did not realise someone was being injured". He also said he "had been egged on by a crowd of 100 onlookers". The judge, evidently as unimpressed as everyone else, promptly lifted Isagba's identification ban and then said, most excellently, that Isagba "is facing a long prison sentence. There's no reason I can see that he should remain on bail."

Good!

Let's hope this nasty little cunt gets the maximum allowable when he is sentenced on March 9th. Cunt of the Day you are Isagba, today and probably every day.

Sponsored by people who agree wholeheartedly with Alex's comments yesterday about Canadian Public Safety Minister Vic Toews. His C30 bill aimed at protecting children from internet predators will also give authorities "unprecedented access to citizens’ personal data online". So when someone on Twitter turned the tables on Toews by revealing some of his personal information, many people found themselves gut-laughing like a motherfucker. It should also be noted that Toew's prior comment that "you’re either with the government, or with the “child pornographers,”" is a fatuous and contemptible false dilemma that is an insult to the intelligence of the good people of Canada.

Ugandan cabinet minister Simon Lokodo is today's Cunt of the Day.

If you thought that Ugandan homophobia was limited to hateful assholes like David Bahati, sadly you were wrong. No doubt spurred on by Bahati's revival of anti-gay legislation last week, we learn from the BBC that Lokodo has "raided a workshop for gay activists and tried to arrest the organiser". He was quoted saying: "We do not accept homosexuality in Uganda".

What a real man Lokodo must be, out demonstrating his masculinity by demonising gay people. He is, apparently, the Minister for Ethics and Integrity. Minister he may be, ethics and integrity he is evidently lacking.

Some people in this race of ours are gay. Fucking get over it. Ugandan cabinet ministers would be better off fixing some of the country's more urgent problems rather than conducting witch hunts against innocent minorities. While Lokodo is Cunt of the Day, you can't help feeling that he is not alone in his hateful sentiments.

Sponsored by people who, on the subject of integrity, were interested to learn that Sony jacked up the price of two Whitney Houston's albums in the hours after her death. Now backtracking furiously, Sony has apologized while many people expressed no surprise whatsoever that a record company appeared willing to brazenly cash in on the death of a pop star.

Our sponsors were too gobsmacked to comment on the disgraceful and unforgivable fuckwittery involved in this story about the UK's Crown Prosecution Service and Met Police having to pay out over £600,000 after a child witness was identified to a gang