Nadine Dorries MP is Cunt of the Month.

After a highly dubious vote, the ballots have been counted and Nadine Dorries, UK Member of Parliament for Mid Bedfordshire, has been returned as May 2010's Cunt of the Month.

You may remember Dorries was Cunt of the Day on May 9th for having the first expenses claim of the new parliament. Of course she has now been overshadowed by David Laws and his antics, but let this not distract us from reminding everyone of what a despicable and hateful human being many people believes resides inside the body of Nadine Dorries.

Since then, Dorries went after speaker John Bercow (of whom Monkey is no fan) by attempting to persuade new MPs to vote to stop him returning as speaker of the House of Commons. This nasty little mission failed which is perhaps a good thing as Bercow decides who gets called to speak in the House, so we can but hope that we are going to hear less from Dorries in the future.

Nadine Dorries reminds us all of the dark heart of conservatism, and we should keep a close eye on her. The fact that she is a pro-life idiot merely fans the flames and makes her so much easier to hate.

Israel is today's Cunt of the Day.

So it's Monday and we look through the papers and see that Israel is, once again, a complete no-brainer for Cunt of the Day. This time the cuntishness is out of this fucking world. Masked Israeli commandos have stormed a convoy of ships transporting aid to the Gaza Strip and have killed at least 10 people.

The Gaza Strip has been blockaded by Israel since June 2007 when Hamas came to power. Israel says that it allows 15,000 tonnes of humanitarian aid into Gaza each week, which the UN estimates to be about a quarter of what is needed. So, that people want to risk their lives to take aid to Gaza is understandable, that Israel will storm their ships and end up killing some of them, for whatever reason, is beyond fucking belief. 

Once again we are witnessing Israel doing what the fuck it likes. In the recent past it has denied it has a nuclear arsenal whilst refusing to take part in a conference working towards a nuclear arms free Middle East; it oppresses free speech which has been shown in the barring of Noam Chomsky from the West Bank and the relentless hounding of Mordechai Vanunu; it was undoubtedly behind the assassination of  Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai for which Israel happily forged western passports which has led to diplomats being expelled from Australia and the UK; and now killing people transporting aid which goes beyond cuntishness into the realms of pure fucking evil. 

You might think most of the above happened over the past year or so while, with the exception of the assassination of al-Mabhouh, it all took place in the month of May.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. Will Israel, once again, get a free pass for actions that outrage the international community, or is something going to be done to keep these fuckers in check?

BP has not only made Cunt of the Day, it has also made this week's Cunt of the Week.

It will probably take some time to come to terms with the enormity of the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, and while a large part of the blame must be set squarely on the last US administration and its "drill baby drill" policy, it is BP that is incapable of stopping the leak, and for that the company takes Cunt of the Week. Barack Obama can also shove his broken heart; if he was so concerned, he could have done something to make oil companies more responsible for their actions since coming to office.

Should we be surprised that oil companies that put a massive priority on profits are incapable of taking care of the environment any more than we can expect bankers to give two fucks about anything except lining their own pockets? What has happened in the Gulf of Mexico perfectly exemplifies the ruinous greed and hubris of some of our fellow men, and we are all going to pay the price for it.